its my story.

he.
Monday, October 13, 2008

tat shoes.
those shoes that my mum bought for me.
those shoes tat my mum bought for me, esp for me.
using her hard earned money.
just cos i bugged her and wanted one shoe.
one. shoe. tat will last me till i grow out of the size.
i was so happy. over the moon.
i swear to myself tat i will keep the shoe and guard it wit my life.
cos i know my mum dun get those money easily.
after i got it, evryone knows. everyone knows how i became cautious of every step tat i took wit that pair of shoes.
i was so determined to keep it till eternity and be thankful.
cos it was my first, adidas shoe.
my mum knows how much into adidas i am.
she knows i can take care of it well.
i proved that it worthy of her money.
all before tat day finally came, where i saw, wit my own eyes.
he came in the house.
wit that shoes on.
i was speechless. i grew angry. i wanted to kill him.
i broke down in tears.
he shouldn't. he wasn't suppose to wear that.
those are mine.
how could he?
i saw all the damage he did to tat shoes.
i broke down in tears. anger tears.
mum saw me. she teared too.
she felt my anger.
how could he be so heartless.
i pull myself together. and decided to confront him.
i threw those shoes to him. cos he destroyed everything i had wit tat shoes.
i made him pay me back.
he was mad at me. cos i threw those shoes at him.
was it my fault?
he went in my room, got that shoes, wore it without my permission and damage it.
was it my fault? he spat on me.in the midst of our fight.
i felt like punching his face. i felt like killing him.
i want to punch him. cos tats all tat he wants. for me to fight wit him.
he knoes im in silat and he wants me to battle it out thru fighting.
physically.
wat does he tink i am?
he jolywell know its his fault. but he still acts big.
why?
i dun even know why im crying rite now.
cos just now, as i walked towards my house door.
i saw those green luminous adidas shoe at the doorstep.
it was once, mine.
it was all dirty and torn as he wore it for soccer. street soccer.
it wasnt suppose to be worn for street soccer!
it wasnt suppose to be his at the first place!
it was mine!
he is sooo bad. and heartless. he is.
i dun even know wat words can describe his negativity.
omg. he made mama cry everyday. wit his attitude.
he lied alot. he played wit our feelings alot. he stole things alot.
he is so rude alot of times.
but wat do we do?
we wait. we wait till one day he realised. and hope and pray tat he will change.
tat 200 dollars fine tat he got, for throwing cigg butt at admiralty park. mama was the one who paid for him.
and he can still easily play wit mama's feelings.
he lied. he lied and make mama believe tat he went for religious class.
sometimes, i did hate mama. for being good to him.
after how many times he made mama cry and hurt her so bad.
but i know, mothers heart, inside, she really hopes he wakes up and realised. how she was being treated.
i hate him. i hate him. i hate him.

:'(
nuff said.

LOVElife @ 11:20 PM